Artificial intelligence (AI) can do so much. But, for now, AI cannot demonstrate emotional intelligence (EI), which leaves an opening for professionals who can reinvent themselves to stay relevant in the modern workplace.
Training topics go in and out of fashion. The popularity of EI has in relative terms perhaps fallen in recent years with the ascendancy of digital transformation and AI. However, the evidence showing the importance of EI only continues to grow.
For example, consider a recent meta-analysis of 150 independent samples comprising 50,894 adults. The scientists, led by Thomas Pirsoul at UCLouvain in Belgium, found that EI was significantly related to both career satisfaction and salary.
Emotionally intelligent people are happier in their work and earn more
Another meta-analysis looked at 24 previous studies in which adults had been trained in EI. The researchers, led by Sabina Hodzic at Université Paris Descartes in France, concluded that EI training interventions were indeed effective.
Happy workers
The two studies provide us with compelling evidence. Emotionally intelligent people are happier in their work and earn more. In addition, EI is not some innate, unchangeable quality; it is a set of skills that can be improved with guidance and effort.
One component of EI is being able to identify accurately and manage our own emotions. This includes recognising when we feel angry, sad or stressed – and then pausing, consciously altering the feeling, and choosing to respond constructively rather than reactively.
AI cannot genuinely detect the mood in a room and manage it
One technique I sometimes teach is to complete a series of sentence stems: ‘I am experiencing the feeling of… It makes me want to… Instead, I choose to…’ For instance, a leader might silently say: ‘I am experiencing the feeling of disgust. It makes me want to sulk and avoid this colleague. Instead, I choose to schedule a meeting next week to discuss the matter again more calmly.’
To stay ahead of AI, it is perhaps other aspects of EI that matter more. AI cannot genuinely detect the mood in a room and manage it. In contrast, humans possess what are called mirror neurons that enable us to experience others’ emotions; our brains are hard-wired with the ability to feel what others are feeling.
However, possessing the capacity to experience others’ emotions does not mean that we use it automatically. One research-backed exercise I often teach leaders is to reflect briefly on their longest one-on-one conversation each day. I ask them to rate (on a scale of one to 10) the extent to which they were emotionally in sync with the other person and then to consider why. Completing this exercise diligently for just a few weeks helps most leaders to become more attuned to others’ emotions.
Emotional management
Once we have identified how others are feeling, the next skill is being able to manage their emotions – for example, lifting dejected team members after a failed project or helping an angry customer to feel calmer. Research has found that telling others how to feel – for instance, telling an upset customer to ‘calm down’ – often backfires. Instead, we get better results by recognising and validating emotions – for example, ‘You’re really angry – I understand why and I probably would be, too.’
Validating someone’s feelings does not mean agreeing with them
Emotionally intelligent professionals understand that validating someone’s feelings does not mean agreeing with them. The act of empathising with others for a few seconds can build a human connection that provides a better foundation for whatever issues or corrective actions we might need to discuss.
Silence is golden
Another practical technique is to stay silent after an emotional person has finished speaking; studies have found that negotiators who pause silently afterwards tend to achieve better outcomes. Negotiators who naturally pause for more than three seconds typically do better financially than those who speak up more quickly.
EI remains a powerful tool by which professionals can differentiate themselves
Furthermore, negotiators who were trained to pause for 20 seconds also achieved better financial outcomes. As opposed to being a technique for intimidating counterparts, studies suggest that silence allows everyone to reflect and respond more deliberately rather than emotionally.
Giving feedback is one of the ultimate tests of EI. Emotionally intelligent professionals do not just deliver feedback; they anticipate likely emotional reactions, tailor their words and manner, and help others to feel supported rather than scolded.
EI currently commands fewer headlines than AI, but remains a powerful tool by which professionals can differentiate themselves. As AI continues to automate administrative and analytical tasks, the value of professionals who can master emotions – both their own and others’ – will only grow.
